


salve

by brandywine421



Category: Daredevil (TV)
Genre: Gen, Light Angst, Mental Health Issues, Mother-Son Relationship, Post-Season/Series 03, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-30
Updated: 2020-07-15
Packaged: 2021-02-27 04:20:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,464
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22480927
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/brandywine421/pseuds/brandywine421
Summary: "Do you think you'll see him more often now that he knows?"She doesn't want to hope, doesn't dare, but she wants to cling to the tiny shard of peace he offered her before Paul's service."Maggie."She gives Sister Carla a scathing glare that her friend deflects with an eyebrow and a tightening of her jaw."He's - going to have a difficult time once he has time to process everything that's happened," she concedes.  "But I think we'll stay in touch.""I hope so.  It's been a long time coming, Maggie."Post S3 finale, Maggie POV.
Comments: 10
Kudos: 69





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I'm not exactly sure what this is, just that it's not what I intended when I started.

"Do you think you'll see him more often now that he knows?"

She doesn't want to hope, doesn't dare, but she wants to cling to the tiny shard of peace he offered her before Paul's service.

_"Maggie."_

She gives Sister Carla a scathing glare that her friend deflects with an eyebrow and a tightening of her jaw. They've shared a room for over twenty years, first exiled out for their 'anxious sleep patterns' to the private room but now accepted as the senior staff suite.

"He's - going to have a difficult time once he has time to process everything that's happened," she concedes. "But I think we'll stay in touch."

"I hope so. It's been a long time coming, Maggie."

"Too long. Matthew took his anger out on Paul and now he feels too guilty to take it out on me," she admits.

"Small blessings. Paul wouldn't have wanted it any other way - Jack either, " she adds. "The secrecy, sure, you're on the hook for that, but considering Matthew's - choices - he'll understand. You left to keep him safe and isn't that why he spent the past few weeks hiding in the basement? To keep his friends safe?"

"There's no comparison for how I treated him," she says, but doesn't shake off her friend's embrace.

"But you have time now to make it better. This is a gift, Maggie."

She knows. God help her, she knows.

* * *

Karen visits a week later, opening with a message apologizing for Matthew's absence. She's been keeping herself too busy to worry but she doesn't hide her relief at the comment.

"It's for good reasons, at least, I hope so," she says, following Maggie to the garden instead of the crypt for privacy. Sunlight would do them all some good.

"That sounds - slightly promising?" Maggie smiles.

Karen laughs, bright without the weight of Fisk and imminent death on her mind. "Foggy and Matt are reopening the firm so it's been a lot of paperwork and promises and contracts. Matt's - talking to us again which is a mixed bag but - he's agreed to see a therapist about his - "

"Mood swings?" she offers when Karen hesitates.

"Sure, we'll go with that," Karen nods.

"I've been on medication for years, but Matthew has a lot of 'feelings' about accepting medicinal treatment," she considers aloud.

"Oh. He says drugs unbalance his senses, but he's willing to try the shrink so we're taking what we can get," Karen says.

"Are you going back to your job back at the paper - "

She seems pleased for the personal question and flushes. Maggie wonders how many secrets she hides behind those doe-eyes. "I'll be their investigator, better pay than receptionist or paralegal, plus, Matt's paying us back for all his bills we covered while he was moping in the church basement."

"Good girl," Maggie says, and Karen gives her another warm smile.

"Have they found a replacement for Father Lantom?" Karen asks softly.

"Father Sheen, he's still settling in but he's a good man. Do you want to meet him?" 

"Oh _no_ , just curious. Matt had brunch with us on Sunday instead of coming to Mass and - sorry, Marci says we're overcompensating for the months we didn't see him," Karen says.

"He's lucky to have friends looking out for him, hopefully he'll remember that before he tells you to stay out of his business," Maggie replies, but she files the note away for review next time she sees her - sees _Matthew_ in person.

* * *

He brings guests to his first meeting with her after Karen's visit. She remembers Foggy but doesn't know the thin woman glaring at Matthew between them.

She clasps Matthew's hand in greeting and studies his friends while he finds his words. "This is Foggy, my best friend and partner. And this is Marci, his - fiancee."

"Don't choke on it, Murdock," Marci mutters under her breath, but smiles like a proper young professional when she greets Maggie. "It's very nice to meet you, Sister."

"I'm assuming you're not here looking for a wedding venue," Maggie says, feeling the unfortunately named lawyer's eyes on her.

Foggy takes her fingers between both of his soft, moisturized hands in contrast with Matthew's battle-marred ones. This man's hands kept their friends safe in a different way, but with the same fierceness as Daredevil and misguided courage as Karen.

"Thank you for taking care of him when we couldn't," Foggy says, squeezing.

He's genuine and she doesn't deserve it. "I should be thanking you for that," she says.

Foggy glances at Matt with a panicked expression and she smiles at the fact that they know each other well enough to communicate with 'looks' even if Matthew can't 'see' them. "Are we allowed to mention - " he starts until Matt shrugs. It's obvious, to her, at least, why he brought them.

Marci hums. "Never going to work keeping it a secret, this ass - sorry - butthole over here is going to need a kidney or spleen someday."

"We already took his spleen," she says, challenging the snarky blonde.

Marci grabs Foggy's arm, ignoring her implied chastening. "Oh God, Battlin' Jack was the soft fluffy part and his mom's the shark - "

"I'm so sorry," Matthew sighs, shifting his weight uncomfortably and tugging on his thin tie.

She pats his arm. "I'm flattered you're introducing me to your friend and your nemesis."

Marci grins at her while Foggy glares at both of them. "Sorry, I've got a lot of catching up to do before I forgive your boy for his whole cosplay habit."

* * *

She's surprised when the group of teenagers approach when she's having a visit with Matthew but he doesn't seem to be. Darla smiles nervously at her and she notes they all have their backpacks.

"What's all this?" she asks and Matthew answers instead of the children.

"We're taking a trip to the library uptown, I signed them out for a few hours," he says. "Promised I'd help them hunt down scholarships and some volunteer work to puff up their applications."

She's impressed but knows that at least a couple of the kids in the group aren't headed to college. Darius rolls his eyes at her. "He's helping me get a savings account and teaching me how credit works. In six months, I'm going to need a place to live and money to buy food and stuff."

"I'll bring them back fed and watered before curfew," Matthew smiles, standing up.

She seeks out Sister Therese as soon as the group is out of sight and the older nun pats her head like she's one of the children. "Don't worry, dear, they'll bring back your pet soon enough."

"But why," she questions.

"They sought him out, he's always been better with the older kids than the babies - Father Lantom always talked up that one, the big fancy lawyer - never mentioning the night activities," Therese says under her breath, teasing the knowledge. "So they asked him and he agreed to help."

She accepts that, but it still seems a little - 

"The new priest is going to have a long way to go to earn people's trust. Kids don't trust him yet, but they trust Matthew," Therese interrupts her thoughts.

She understands, frowning. "You want him to convince the kids to be nice to Father Sheen."

"No, I want **them** to convince Matthew to be nice to Father Sheen. I'm a little disappointed you haven't noticed that he's not - engaging with him."

She doesn't want to have this conversation - she hoped it would have more time to play itself out. "He's still grieving."

"Boy didn't miss his weekly confession for years, Maggie but he hasn't stepped foot in the booth since - before Paul." She avoids Therese's steady gaze which tells her everything anyway. "He's going somewhere else, isn't he? Is he leaving the parish?" 

"It's not forever," she says, wincing. "He has - unique sins to confess and needs someone to trust, and he has someone until he's - ready to try Father Sheen. He's still grieving."

Sister Therese swats at her. "I can't believe you're outsourcing our Daredevil."

"It's not - he found him on his own. From what I know, which is very little, the guy's retired, in his late 80's and very bad at chess," she admits. "One of his super-friends referred him."

"And who gave him permission to make super-friends? We've been through a lot in this parish, Maggie, and Father Sheen is trying his best."

"I know, but it's - a work in progress," she sighs.

Therese puts an arm around her in a rare show of affection. "I know he's not your responsibility, but he was so close with Paul and he listens to you."

"His faith's not in danger, Therese, he's just dealing with his grief - differently."

"Then it won't hurt to have him spend time with the kids," Therese says, discussion closed.  
  


* * *

  
She doesn't hear from him for a few days after his trip out with the children, but she hears from Foggy, texting the phone he knows quite well she only checks twice a day. She gets an address and a polite request that she can't turn down.

She knocks with a confidence she doesn't feel but the door opens shortly after. Not as soon as she expected with his hearing but that makes sense when she sees his battered face.

"Did I call you?" He asks as she steps into the dim space. He slides his hand along the wall and switches on lights to aid the garish billboard's brightness.

"No, a concerned party said you might need a visit," she says. "I thought you were being nicer to your friends."

"Telling them I need to sleep more than be lectured is as nice as I could manage tonight," he says, sinking into the couch and giving her tacit permission to look around his space. 

"Do you want to talk about it?" She opens his freezer and picks out an ice pack and a towel from the drawer to the left of the sink.

"Not at all," he mumbles. "I'm sorry they bothered you, nothing's broken but my pride."

"Doubtful," she replies, sitting down carefully beside him and placing the wrapped icepack in his hand. He raises it obediently to his swollen face. "Do you have court tomorrow, or appointments?"

"Not anymore, but they're going to conference me in if they meet with clients. It was a stupid mistake."

"Would you prefer a smart mistake?" she asks, earning an annoyed look that warms her all over. "Since you don't need a lecture, is there anything I can do for you while I'm here?" Her fingers twitch to check him for damage but she keeps her hands safely in her lap.

"Maybe. Why are the nuns whispering about me? It's not because of our - relationship, but I'm hearing my name a lot more than I expected at this point. Did I do something to offend the Sisters?"

She winces and he knows it, shuttering his open expression. "No. They're worried you're avoiding Father Sheen. I might have let it slip that you were seeking other counsel, _temporarily_."

He nods, thoughtful. "I thought I was being more discreet."

"Matthew, no one would ever use that word to describe you," she snorts. "Do you dislike him that much?"

"He treats me like I'm blind. And he smells like - hummus, always hummus - " he blurts out.

"Well, he is a vegetarian, but it's not like you to judge someone by their eating habits," she says after a beat.

He sighs, petulant but not defiant. "Is it really a problem?"

"Is it?" she replies.

He lowers the icepack and adjusts the cloth before tucking it under his armpit. "I don't know."

"You don't have to tell him about Daredevil. He knows Paul considered him a friend of the church, but - "

Matthew tilts his ear toward her, sharply alert. "He knew Father Lantom?"

"Of course, Paul was going to retire eventually and Father Sheen wanted to come back to the city; he hated the suburbs with a passion. They knew each other for years," she says, feeling ridiculous for not mentioning it earlier. "You think we just posted a job opening? _Matthew_."

"He does a decent Sunday Mass, needs to work on his Wednesdays," Matt says.

She pinches him. "Have you been eavesdropping on Mass instead of showing your face inside? You deserve all the lectures."

He laughs softly. "I can hear it from anywhere in Hell's Kitchen, you know. I admit I haven't made it a priority - the sanctuary is still - problematic for me."

"What's that mean?"

He inhales deeply, flaring his nostrils just like Jack used to when he was trying not to start an argument. "His scent - it's all over the church, everywhere. It's not something - it might be all in my head, I still smell Elektra on my sheets and they're not even the same sheets - but the church - "

She takes his hand impulsively and he squeezes her fingers. "I'm working on it."

"Do you want me to scold the Sisters for gossiping out of turn?" she offers.

"I grew up there, Maggie, I know that getting them to stop gossiping would take an actual act of God." He squeezes her hand again and then releases his hold, the absence a tingle under her skin. "Does he know about - our connection?"

She should have expected that. "My - history is documented in my files. It's common knowledge for the locals that care enough to look at our last names. They might not understand why I kept Jack's name after the disillusionment of our marriage, but - oh. It won't change anything for me, Matthew, either way."

His jaw tics, his 'thinking' tell.

"You're worrying about the wrong things," she says.

He sighs and moves the icepack to his cheek again. "Maybe. Clinton Church and St. Agnes - it's the heart of Hell's Kitchen to me, you know? But it's - missing a familiar beat, it's missing - I just need time to get used to the new pulse."

"I can't apologize for their concern," she says finally. "You were one of theirs before and after they knew you were mine."


	2. Chapter 2

* * *

She doesn't recognize the muscle-man until he respectively removes his baseball cap just inside the sanctuary and pushes nervous fingers through his blond hair.

Sister Therese inhales sharply.

He turns, checking on the slower man that hobbles to his side with a walker and a snarl at his offer of help.

"Is that Father Flannery? Thought that dinosaur was dust in the ground already," Sister Carla murmurs as she joins their incidental surveillance.

Therese thumps her hard. "How long has Matthew known Captain America?"

"I don't think he's ever mentioned him," she says honestly. "But I know he's been visiting with Father Flannery."

"So this is a surprise inspection, of course," Sister Therese stiffens, smoothing down her habit and checking Maggie and Carla for demerits.

Father Sheen hurries out of the back with his collar undone and mismatched socks peeking out from his untied shoes. Maggie and Carla wince as Therese stalks off to warn the rest of the cloister. 

She wonders if it's divine intervention or a curse that has her out of the orphanage and working up front today but she's relieved when Carla joins her in greeting the larger than life man. "Good afternoon," Carla blurts out first and Maggie realizes that the woman is giddy. Oh dear.

"Sisters, hello," he says politely. He meets her eyes and she sees a flash of recognition and a hit of a smile. "Are you Sister Maggie?"

She nods and he motions to the open doors. "Father Flannery and I are friends of Matt - Matthew," he corrects with a grin. "We were hoping to have a moment or so for him to - walk through without curious eyes?"

"I'll make sure no one else is lurking," Sister Carla says, beaming a bright smile at the superhero.

"Thank you, Sister. I'd like to visit with the children later, if you need to tell anyone," he adds.

"Matthew can bring you back, he knows who to talk to," Carla nods, squeezing Maggie's wrist and darting away to spread the gossip while luring away the snoops.

" _Steven_! I'm going to talk with Father Sheen privately, we'll catch up with you boys soon," Father Flannery calls with a polite glance at her before he shuffles away.

"Is it an inspection?" she whispers to Steven who smiled kindly.

"Maybe for Father Sheen, he's getting vetted to make sure he can handle Matt's whole - lifestyle," Steven says.

She spots Matthew walking in with a foreboding expression.

"Guess you got tired of eavesdropping," Steven says.

"Not like I can turn it off. Hi, Sister Maggie," he says, nodding respectfully and folding his stick to give his nervous hands something to do. "I'm sorry for the ambush."

"It was Father Flannery's idea, he called your priest twenty minutes ago because he heard a rumor he sleeps in on Mondays," Steven confides.

Matthew doesn't flinch, but slowly turns his head to the left, a tell that he hears something. She waits but he doesn't explain and Steven leans toward him, picking up on the sudden shift.

"You triggered?" Steven asks, carefully placing his hand on Matthew's arm.

He opens his mouth and closes it quickly before blurting out, "Can we go outside?"

She wants to help but - it's not her place, it's - it should be her place but - she puts her hand on his free arm.

He doesn't flinch and turns toward her with a blank expression that suddenly twists into - hurt - devastation - grief - settling into dull panic with a short shake of his head.

"Come on, we'll take the long way," Maggie says softly, guiding him to the front entry and down the stairs to the sidewalk.

He raises his face to the sky and - breathes. "Damn."

"So a tether didn't help," Steven says quietly. "Let's walk, Sister, is there a quiet place - "

"I know the way. Sorry about that," Matthew says to her, unfolding his stick as an excuse to shake off their hands and lead them around and into the park area.

"What would your doctor say about exposure therapy?" she asks and doesn't expect Steven's scoff and Matt's slight smile - but she takes it for the levity it offers.

"Steve doesn't like shrinks," Matthew says.

"I never said that, I just - don't always see the point. I know they do good things and they've helped a lot of my friends but - just like Matt always says, not all blind people need a dog and not all mentally unstable folks need a shrink," Steven says, obviously a well-worn discussion for the men.

She forgets how old the Captain is in real time. "Probably changed a lot since you were around the first time."

"Do you want to talk about it?" Steven asks.

"It's not fear, it's - it's - I lose my bearings," Matt whispers. "My balance, you know? I can't filter past the scent, if it's there at all, to get my ears and my skin to process the rest of it. I taste the fear of the parishioners, the salt of tears and the blood - "

"What did the shrink say?" Steven asks, his large hand steady on Matt's shoulder. 

"I didn't tell her about the church, she's not religious."

Steven's face flashes with alarm and Maggie follows his thought. "So you only tell her about things that are important to you? So not the church?"

Matt flares his nostrils. "I don't tell her everything. Some things are none of her business."

Steven removes his hand and raises it to cover his face before releasing a huff of laughter. "You aren't telling her anything, are you?"

"I have been to every appointment and talked to her the full hour," Matthew frowns, crossing his arms. "She's on her third marriage and even though she says she loves his kids, she can't wait for them to graduate," he adds with a proud look.

She's glad for the levity but can't forget Matthew's confession. "Are there any other places that set you off like the church?"

He's silent for a long moment. "I can't go near Midland Circle, even in a cab, all I taste is ash."

"But you're in a cab, that's progress, right? Baby steps and all that," Steve says.

"Taxis aren't as bad as the other two. I should try again," Matthew decides but she shakes her head.

"Too many people inside that know you now. Take Captain Rogers to visit with the children, it'll be the best time for him to see the younger ones before the older ones get out of class. I know a couple of the kids have college essays for you to read."

Matthew smiles, sufficiently distracted and Steven winks at her.

* * *

**Author's Note:**

> There may be another chapter, but I had to just get this out of my brainspace so it would stop distracting the other muses. They are very busy, you know. ♥


End file.
